Walking Meditation

One of the exercises that Athena and I did on our vacation was walking meditation.  I had never done this before, and I feel like I got a lot out of it.  Basically, we walked slowly through the garden and back yard; placing our feet slowly (a la Tai Chi, maintaining our balance while slowly lifting and placing the feet, by conciously shifting weight to the supporting foot).  The objective was to be totally aware of the experience of walking: savoring the sensations of different types of surfaces, aware of our bodies and how they moved, and being conciously grounded and aware of how the earth supports us.

I found that focusing on being grounded and connected to the earth while I walked disoriented me, and made me loose balance :)  So instead, I focused on my balance and how the earth supported me at all times.  This was very steadying.

While I was walking, I deliberately chose different surfaces (concrete, flagstone, gravel, dirt, grass, gravel, etc).  I tried to feel every nuance, and not to avoid or reject uncomfortable (even slightly painful) sensations.  As I did this, trying to accept and learn from everything that the earth had to offer, I got a strange feeling: that the sensations I felt as I walked were the voice of the earth, speaking to the soles of my feet.  Not in words, but it was like the changing interplay of hard/soft/sharp/round was like listening to the voice of a loving parent, when you can't understand the words but can only follow the music of their voice.  And I thought, "How toneless and dull this voice would sound, if there were no highs and lows!  If there were no sharp consonants to punctuate the rolling vowels, it would not be half so lovely to hear.  I am so happy to feel the rich, varied voice of the earth!"

The Dog Thing

During our vacation in Eureka Springs, Athena had a number of encounters with dogs. Walking down the streets, or meeting people, over and over again dogs would come right up to her and greet her or ask to be petted. This is unusual. Athena is usually cautious about strange dogs. I like to meet new dogs, and the usually come up to me first; but this week they went straight for Athena, and had no interest in me. On at least two occasions, a dog avoided me and walked around me just to get to her and say hi. This kept happening all week. Athena finally asked me to ask if this meant something.

At the end of my spirit journey (after my encounter with Tiger) I just sat down and communed with my guides. Then I asked them about the way that dogs kept seeking Athena out this week, and was there a message here? Could I be told, or was it private?

They responded that yes, there was a meaning. The dogs were trying to pass a message to Athena, which she had been unable to receive. The dogs had been asked to convey the message to her. It was not appropriate for them to reveal the contents of the message to me; they just said that the message was about change. I also got a slight impression of water about the message; but since water is Athena’s personal symbol of change, I think that it was just reinforcing the meaning. My guides said that Athena would receive the message, but that it would probably be unconsciously and she would not be aware of it.

I remain very puzzled and curious about this!

Tiger’s Breath

Near the end of our vacation in Eureka Springs, I took a spirit journey. 

I floated in the big Jacuzzi tub on the back porch, while a gorgeous full moon rose through the trees, and found my path from the sea to the forest. There was a full moon there too, shining on my right. I thought that the sun should be up too, and there it was on my left. The rays of the sun were warm and bright, but cast harsh, black shadows just like the moon; the path was interlaced with gold and silver light and black shadows. I wondered what this meant, and then knew that it was telling me that both sets of shadows were just illusions, and that the solid truth lay unchanging beneath all of them.

The path wound through the trees, and led me to the clearing.  I entered and stood in the grass, beneath the Oak tree, and just asked for any insight or guidance that might be given me; I practiced the exercises that the Reiki therapist showed me to open my heart and let whatever was offered flow in without passing judgment (see my previous post Opening the Heart). 

I felt the presence of Oak, Spider, and Bird around me, but they didn’t offer anything right away. Instead, I saw a new and somewhat daunting being emerged from the trees opposite and walked towards me. It was a very large Tiger, glowing gold and black, in a nimbus of gold and white light. He said that he was not to be my guide, but that he had come to deliver something to me, as a favor. (I was relieved; he was much too wild and powerful for me to feel very comfortable with him :)

I indicated my willingness to accept what he offered, and tried to open my heart to receive (not without some trepidation). The Tiger then breathed out a great mist of pearly white, with a pinky (or sometimes golden) cast to it. The mist enfolded me, and I just worked to stay open and try to just drink it in and accept it unconditionally. After a moment he stopped, and the remaining mist vanished. I said that I appreciated the gift, but that I didn’t know what it was. He said that when I was ready to accept it, I would know what it was, not to be impatient. 

I thanked him again, and asked what I could do to show my gratitude. He said that he would be satisfied if I would just show kindness to his little cousins, the cats. The day before, a neighborhood cat had come begging for treats when we were cooking; Athena convinced me to give him some chicken and some milk. I had done so, but with protests about how we shouldn’t. Tiger indicated that I should have been more generous hearted and given freely without protest. I said that I would try and do so in the future, and he walked back into the forest.

Dream

 After my long treatment of energy work and intuitive healing, the therapist said to pay attention to my dreams for the next few days, they may be significant.   Two days later I had this dream.

I was living in a house with several people, adults and children (I was not myself, nor were any of the people real people). We were going about our normal lives, work and school. But there was someone trying to harm us; we never saw him directly, but he sent his minions occasionally to break into our house and break or steal things, or to threaten us. This was really a minor annoyance; we just sidestepped them or cleaned up after them. There was nothing he could do that would really hurt us. At one point he tried to kidnap my young daughter, but they let her go as soon as I insisted, and she was not ever fazed by the experience. I could sense our enemy becoming more and more frustrated and frantic with the desire to hurt us.

Finally our enemy broke into the house himself during a party, for what he expected to be the final confrontation with me. But when we saw each other, we immediately recognized each other as previously unknown brothers, separated since birth. He came to me and we embraced. We agreed to try and work together and help each other. We both knew this would be difficult at times; he has a large load of resentment about his life, and was full of anger and loneliness. I on the other hand was full of pride and self-satisfaction. We knew we would have to learn from each other.
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 Athena and I talked over this dream the next day. I am not entirely sure what it represents, but Athena suggests that it is about my rational, skeptical mind fighting my intuitive, healing spirit. She points out all the times that I don’t use Reiki, when it would be natural to do so; that I don’t seem to think of it until she suggests it. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to believe in my gifts, that wants me to be ‘normal’ and appear ordinary. 

Opening the Heart

On our ES vacation, Athena and I spent some time working together on some spiritual goals. One night, we did some meditation exercises together, from the book “Inner Reiki”. They revealed something that neither of us had quite realized: I am very easy about giving, but it difficult for me to receive. We talked over this over the next day or two, and it is illuminating about many things in our life together.

The next day, I had an appointment at Healthworks, for a ‘Journey’, which is a 1.5 hour session of light massage, aromatherapy, and energy work (Reiki, cranial-sacral work, and other modalities) with a wonderfully talented massage therapist who is very skilled with energy work and intuitive healing. It was wonderful! But when she hit my heart chakra, she surprised me my saying that I have a lot of shields around my heart. We talked, and decided that the shields are what are stopping me from being able to receive. She said that she understood, that she also found giving very easy and receiving hard.

She worked with me to open up my heart. She placed her hand on my back on the heart chakra, and told me to feel it, and sense the edges of her hand. Then she said to enlarge the area, and try and feel her hand ½ an inch further out; then 2 inches further out. It took some effort, but it did open up noticeably. I will have to keep working on it.

She Who Delights in Dance

Athena and I just returned from out vacation to Eureka Springs!  I have a lot to report, so I will be posting about it for the next few days.

One rainy day Athena and I saw a strange bird in the garden of a hotel. It was all fluffed up and sparkling with water drops, and looked like a gray speckled snowball with a long thin straight blue-gray tail. It walked around a little, and let us get fairly close before moving off. I opened a heart connection to it and said ‘hi’, and it immediately stopped and turned around and walked back towards us a little. We asked it what it was doing walking around in a public garden near the path, didn’t it think that someone might hurt it? She responded “This is my place. I walk around here whenever I want! And if someone tries to stop me they will get a good peck!” We asked her what type of bird she was, but get no response; it was raining so we left.

A friend suggested that she may have been a roadrunner. She didn’t look anything like the roadrunners we knew, that are sleek, skinny, red-brown birds that never get close to people.

A few days later we were back at the same park, and there she was again! This time she was dry, and she was indeed a roadrunner. But a different species than the ones we knew, since she had a variegated gray back and white belly. She was quite pretty, and just as bold as ever. She would not come up to us, but we could get within 4 feet of her before she would back off. She was busy catching grubs; she would turn her head, listen intently, then hop and snatch a grub right out of the ground and swallow it. 

I spoke to her a bit more. She was interested, and we had a good conversation while she hunted. She said that of course she was a roadrunner, wasn’t it obvious? And yes, she thought that she was rather attractive. We asked if she had any babies, she said not now, they were all fledged and off on their own. 

I asked what her name was. She said she didn’t really have a name, but would like one. Maybe something to do with her gracefulness? She said that she was an exceptionally graceful and elegant dancer, that that was her special skill. She loved to dance, especially in the moonlight. Sometimes a male would see her and would of course be immediately captivated by her grace and beauty. If he danced with her, and showed enough talent himself, then they might get together; that way she insured that all her chicks were beautiful dancers also.

We suggested the name “Grace”, which she accepted, but she thought that maybe something fancier would be nice; she picked up from me a thought about the muse of dance, and said that if I would find the name of the muse of dance and gift her with it, then she would be delighted. I said that I would look it up as soon as I could.

She consented to pose for a few pictures, and quite liked the idea and the attention, although she kept fluffing up with excitement which made it difficult to catch a good one. About this time some other couples walked by and saw her, and wanted to take pictures too. Grace was pleased about this and posed for them a bit; but after a small group gathered it got to be too much for her and she hopped away and hid under the building. 

Near the end of our stay, after I had gone on a spirit journey in the big jaccuzi tub on the back porch, I was cooling off and watching the full moon over trees of our private back yard. I sent out my heart and spoke to Grace, telling her that I had looked up the muse of dance, and her name was Terpsichore, which mean “She who delights in dance.” Grace loved the name and the meaning, but said that Terpsichore was a bit too fancy for daily use, so she would stay Grace (or Gracie) and save Terpsichore for special occasions. 

Still kind of buzzing from my spirit journey, I asked her if she would dance for me. She was several miles away, of course, but said that she would be happy to and I could share it with her in spirit. She danced, and she was a song of grace and delight. She asked me to dance with her, so I got up and danced on the porch while she danced in her garden; it was delightful. I called Athena to come out, and she watched while I danced a bit more. I tried to let go of my self-conciousness and let the dance flow, and it was a lot of fun.

I thanked her very much for sharing her dance with me. My friendship with her was a highlight of my vacation; it is very special, and she is a very special creature.

A checkin with Hephaestus

Athena asked me to do a good thorough checkup on our horse Hephaestus, since he has been getting a lot of attitude recently and been very squirmy and dont-touch-me.  The problem with Hep is that whenever I ask him what is going on, he just says "What? I don't know. I feel fine.".  Her suggestion was to NOT ask him the explain or describe anything, but just to do a good Reiki overall check and see if his body could tell me anything.

He has good strong energy that moves pretty well.  The first signal I got was over his flanks and rear end: kind of itchy and twitchy feeling.  It was not in his digestive system (which felt fine).  I finally narrowed it down to his private areas and his rear.  He is due for a sheath cleaning anyway (oh joy) so maybe this will help him feel better; but I suspect that his melanomas are part of the problem.  He has them all over that area, and received wisdom is that they are inoperable but harmless.  But they surely don't feel good.

His legs also feel vaugely achy.  Not the joints, but the long bones and muscles.  A little like when you get the aches from the flu?  Thats one reason he keeps shifting his weight and stretching out his legs, it feels better.

So no real answer.  We are trying to decide what supplements to give him next, hopefully something will help him feel better.