With another wonderful Christmas gift, the Green Man Tree Oracle, I did a reading: What should I keep in mind as I move into the new year? What should I bring forward from last year?
In the Upper World, advice from above for the coming year:
Spindle (Oir)
"Destiny moves us to do great things", follow your deepest desires and your destiny will reveal itself.
In the Lower World, advice from the ancestors, what to bring forward from last year:
Gooseberry (Ifin)
"The ancestors walked the way before you", you have the right to draw on the collective wisdom of those who have walked the path before you.
In the Middle World, what is happening right now that is important to know:
Ivy (Gort)
"Strength comes from accepting support", set aside pride and stubborness, accept the support of those around you.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Compass Points
Gate of dreams, roseate East,
Good beginnings from golden beast.
Southern forests, paths that twist,
Feathered serpent sets the test.
Moon's consort neath starry sky,
Western toad calls choices nigh.
King in sable, heart of flame,
in Northern hall ring songs of fame.
Good beginnings from golden beast.
Southern forests, paths that twist,
Feathered serpent sets the test.
Moon's consort neath starry sky,
Western toad calls choices nigh.
King in sable, heart of flame,
in Northern hall ring songs of fame.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Solstice fire, with visitors
A fraught and frantic December, and I was coming down with a bit of a head cold, but I felt the need to make some observance for the solstice. It is to me the most deep, numinous, and bone-felt of the holy days, when the world shudders in the grip of dark and cold.
I built a fire in the firepit on back porch out of oak leaves dropped by my friend in the front yard. I knew the fire would only last for a while, so I put a candle by ready to catch the last flames and hold them for the night. I sat down by the fire and stared into it, communing with the flames and letting the rest of the world fade away. I didn't think about anything in particular, just let my mind quiet and let the rustle of the wind and the flowing of the flames fill me.
After a time staring at the flames, and seeing the circle of the firepit flare orange, I became aware of others sitting with me around the fire. On my right hand was the Indian man, Teacher of Boys-to-Men, who had danced with me earlier in the year. Beside him was a large man dressed in furs and boots, who I knew to be a Dane, but with no helmet, armor, or weapons. On my left had sat a very old Indian woman with her gray hair pulled back and weaving in her hands, who laughed and smiled at the fire. There were many others, elders, warriors, folk of many races, who gathered with us around the fire.
No one spoke, we all just shared the fire and each other's presence. I felt the immense depths of time; all these wise folk had in their lives honored Winter and sat vigil by the fire on the longest night of the year, each in their own time and place, and me among them. At the solstice fire, time thins and we all share, all sensing each other's presence and support in the silence. I knew that these were all ancient ancestors and elders who had felt the mystery of the darkness and the hope of the fire, and had sat alone, just as I, to feel the turning of the year. I knew that some here were my many-times-grandchildren also, that the thread of mystery and reverence continues. Just as I have been supported and guided by many spirits and ancestors, so I will take my turn eventually to aid and guide those who come after me.
As the fire faded, my companions faded from my awareness also. I caught the last flicker of the oak flames securely on the wick of my candle, which I nestled safely in the firepit to light our path to the next year, and went in to bed.
After a time staring at the flames, and seeing the circle of the firepit flare orange, I became aware of others sitting with me around the fire. On my right hand was the Indian man, Teacher of Boys-to-Men, who had danced with me earlier in the year. Beside him was a large man dressed in furs and boots, who I knew to be a Dane, but with no helmet, armor, or weapons. On my left had sat a very old Indian woman with her gray hair pulled back and weaving in her hands, who laughed and smiled at the fire. There were many others, elders, warriors, folk of many races, who gathered with us around the fire.
No one spoke, we all just shared the fire and each other's presence. I felt the immense depths of time; all these wise folk had in their lives honored Winter and sat vigil by the fire on the longest night of the year, each in their own time and place, and me among them. At the solstice fire, time thins and we all share, all sensing each other's presence and support in the silence. I knew that these were all ancient ancestors and elders who had felt the mystery of the darkness and the hope of the fire, and had sat alone, just as I, to feel the turning of the year. I knew that some here were my many-times-grandchildren also, that the thread of mystery and reverence continues. Just as I have been supported and guided by many spirits and ancestors, so I will take my turn eventually to aid and guide those who come after me.
As the fire faded, my companions faded from my awareness also. I caught the last flicker of the oak flames securely on the wick of my candle, which I nestled safely in the firepit to light our path to the next year, and went in to bed.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Spiraling Song of the Lark Ascending
"Is it always the same? The same ending and beginning?"
"For some. But for others, it is the spiraling song of the lark ascending."
How does the lark rise? Not with striving, but with joy. By rejoicing in himself, pure and unnamed, and dancing with the world without fear, he is carried ever higher in bliss. How could he not?
The spiraling song of the lark ascending.
The wheel of Karma can be a millstone that grinds you down with each fruitless turn. Turning everything to dust.
Or it can be a unfolding spiral, expanding boundlessly, that carries you out into a wider world, like a child spinning in the grass until he falls laughing.
The spiraling song of the lark ascending.
The world that surrounds us here and now is our partner. If we dance with her, unashamed, unregreting, how can we not both be lifted to joy? Let us dance!
Let us rise, the spiraling song of the lark ascending!
"For some. But for others, it is the spiraling song of the lark ascending."
How does the lark rise? Not with striving, but with joy. By rejoicing in himself, pure and unnamed, and dancing with the world without fear, he is carried ever higher in bliss. How could he not?
The spiraling song of the lark ascending.
The wheel of Karma can be a millstone that grinds you down with each fruitless turn. Turning everything to dust.
Or it can be a unfolding spiral, expanding boundlessly, that carries you out into a wider world, like a child spinning in the grass until he falls laughing.
The spiraling song of the lark ascending.
The world that surrounds us here and now is our partner. If we dance with her, unashamed, unregreting, how can we not both be lifted to joy? Let us dance!
Let us rise, the spiraling song of the lark ascending!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
A walk in the dark
Another spirit journey, after months of being too busy or tired or worried to do so...
I said to them, You seem kind and friendly, but are there not things down here to fear? What of the terrors and monsters of which I have heard? And in response, they showed me images of the creatures that prowl these tunnels fo night, and which destroy all they encounter.
These creatures were misshapen, some glowing like hot fire, others dark as shadows and as cold. They seemed to rave and mutter to themselves. The gray folk told me that there things were once people as themselves, who lost their center and their balance. Having lost this and the sustenance that the Earth gives with it, they have turned to stealing the life and vitality of other folk. They try to find other people and strike them, to try and get them to respond with fear or anger so that they can snatch it away as their food. The more they do this, the more twisted they become, until they love nothing more than anger and spite and causing hurt.
When such things come around, the gray folk have learned to disappear by drawing themselves into the stone. They showed me how to do this. Then they told me that, once in the stone, I could follow it up to the sun-world and find my way home.
I walked on the seashore, it was dark and quite chilly. The sea was calm. I was having some trouble staying on the dream side, so I took a little time here to focus on the pale sand, the dark sea, the phosphorescent breakers, the tough sea grass rising up to the edge of the trees. I splashed my feet into the water (it was very cold!) and splashed my face, to wake my dream self up and see clearly.
I walked up the path through the grass into the trees, and up the winding path among the trees. There was a lot of moonlight, and many of the trees seemed white or silver, as if there were many birches. The sand on the path glimmered pale. As I approached the edge of the clearing, I could see sunlight through the trees; the clearing was bright and warm, but I was still outside the ring of trees that surround it.
I hesitated for a moment before entering. Several journals I have read have spoken of the terrors and trials of spirit journeys, and I have wondered if I have not delved deeply enough in my journeys to really find the truth, but just stayed in the light and avoided facing the darkness. I don't know; but I said that I was ready to see more and learn more, even if it was dark or frightening.
Then on my right, just outside the clearing, I saw a narrow dark path with branches handing low. I ducked down and started following this path. It was winding and narrow. often low with interlaced branches above. I followed it for a time, and it twisted down and turned into a tunnel into the ground. I kept going. There was still some light coming in behind me, and it was not too dark to see. The tunel was wide but uneven, of packed earth and stone, with tree roots showing. As I kept on, I touched the tree roots for reassurance.
Just as the light behind me faded, I started seeing a flickering red glow ahead. As I approached, I saw that the tunned swelled into a small room and ended. At the far side of the room was a smith, working hot metal over a huge red glowing fire. He saw me but kept working. He was large, and seemed to have a helmet crowned with stag horns, or possibly he had antlers himself. I approached him cautiously. He nodded to me, I was not unwelcome, but he had work to do and kept at it. He was working something in a silvery metal like a very short sword with elaborate hilts.
I asked him what I was there to learn. He laughed and set the sword aside, and said that I would know what I was to learn when I learned it, of course. He showed me the sword, which he explained was not a weapon after all but a tool to split the rocks, made for those down here who did such things. Then he showed me that there were two small tunnels leading off the the left and the right, The left tunnel bent down and was very dark. The right tunnel bent upwards and looked lighter and more inviting.
He asked me, which path was I going to take? The time to choose was now. I answered, Is not the choice false? For don't both paths lead to the same destination? He responded that they did in fact both lead to the same place, but that the path one took often had more impact that the place of arrival. He said that he knew that I had walked much in the light so far, and that I could learn more by walking in the dark for a time. I agreed, and turned towards the left passage. He called out, "Wait! Take this with you, there will come a time when you can use it." and tossed me a thin ring of silver, about two or three inches across. I caught it, and continued down the tunnel.
It immediately became pitch black, I could see nothing at all. I moved forward by feel, trusting my feet and my hands to know where to go. th passage sometimes became so narrow I had to go sideways, and sometimes so low I had to crouch down, but I kept moving forward. After an interminable time, I started to hear water ahead.
A moment later, I felt the passage open out slightly as it ended at the edge of a narrow but briskly running underground stream. I felt a small reed coracle or basket on the ground at my feet. I set the coracle in the water and climbed in, and immediately started moving down the stream at a brisk pace. I could still not see anything, I could just feel the sides of the tunnel sliding by as the water carried my, I knew that no matter what, there would be no returning by this path. I had to put my faith in what lay ahead that I would be delivered safely home.
The river made a turn, and my coracle grounded on a sandy shore. I felt like there were a large chamber in front of me, filled with stone shapes, all hidden to my eyes. Then I noticed that the silver ring was gleaming faintly, as if the moon shone on it, but there was no moon. As I held it up to my eye, I perceived that there was bright moonlight forged into the silver by the craft of the smith, and that it allowed me to see the world around me as teh moon would see it, bathed in faint silvery beams.
I was surrounded by tall stone forms that looked like great fir trees hewn of stone, like a Christmas forest frozen in gray stone, all silent and cold. I wandered through them, wondering, for surely nothing down here had ever seen the sun on the forests I knew. I came in time to a rough stone bench set among the stone trees, and I sat for a while.
After I had collected my thoughts, I called out quietly, Who is in this place? I wish to know you and mean you no harm. And there started to appear from round the trees and stones small gray people, who crept up silently to me, gazing at me with their huge flat eyes, moving their long nimble fingers. They seemed shy, and found the pale gleam of moonlight from my ring overbright.
I sat on the ground so as no to overtop them, and asked them who they were, They said that they had always been here, had been here since the beginning, living among the stones. They seemed a cheerful people, quiet but clever, and showed me some of the marvelous things that they had made for their joy: small, fragile sculptures of silver and gold, music or song that sounded like chiming crystals and melodious drops in still pools.
I walked up the path through the grass into the trees, and up the winding path among the trees. There was a lot of moonlight, and many of the trees seemed white or silver, as if there were many birches. The sand on the path glimmered pale. As I approached the edge of the clearing, I could see sunlight through the trees; the clearing was bright and warm, but I was still outside the ring of trees that surround it.
I hesitated for a moment before entering. Several journals I have read have spoken of the terrors and trials of spirit journeys, and I have wondered if I have not delved deeply enough in my journeys to really find the truth, but just stayed in the light and avoided facing the darkness. I don't know; but I said that I was ready to see more and learn more, even if it was dark or frightening.
Then on my right, just outside the clearing, I saw a narrow dark path with branches handing low. I ducked down and started following this path. It was winding and narrow. often low with interlaced branches above. I followed it for a time, and it twisted down and turned into a tunnel into the ground. I kept going. There was still some light coming in behind me, and it was not too dark to see. The tunel was wide but uneven, of packed earth and stone, with tree roots showing. As I kept on, I touched the tree roots for reassurance.
Just as the light behind me faded, I started seeing a flickering red glow ahead. As I approached, I saw that the tunned swelled into a small room and ended. At the far side of the room was a smith, working hot metal over a huge red glowing fire. He saw me but kept working. He was large, and seemed to have a helmet crowned with stag horns, or possibly he had antlers himself. I approached him cautiously. He nodded to me, I was not unwelcome, but he had work to do and kept at it. He was working something in a silvery metal like a very short sword with elaborate hilts.
I asked him what I was there to learn. He laughed and set the sword aside, and said that I would know what I was to learn when I learned it, of course. He showed me the sword, which he explained was not a weapon after all but a tool to split the rocks, made for those down here who did such things. Then he showed me that there were two small tunnels leading off the the left and the right, The left tunnel bent down and was very dark. The right tunnel bent upwards and looked lighter and more inviting.
He asked me, which path was I going to take? The time to choose was now. I answered, Is not the choice false? For don't both paths lead to the same destination? He responded that they did in fact both lead to the same place, but that the path one took often had more impact that the place of arrival. He said that he knew that I had walked much in the light so far, and that I could learn more by walking in the dark for a time. I agreed, and turned towards the left passage. He called out, "Wait! Take this with you, there will come a time when you can use it." and tossed me a thin ring of silver, about two or three inches across. I caught it, and continued down the tunnel.
It immediately became pitch black, I could see nothing at all. I moved forward by feel, trusting my feet and my hands to know where to go. th passage sometimes became so narrow I had to go sideways, and sometimes so low I had to crouch down, but I kept moving forward. After an interminable time, I started to hear water ahead.
A moment later, I felt the passage open out slightly as it ended at the edge of a narrow but briskly running underground stream. I felt a small reed coracle or basket on the ground at my feet. I set the coracle in the water and climbed in, and immediately started moving down the stream at a brisk pace. I could still not see anything, I could just feel the sides of the tunnel sliding by as the water carried my, I knew that no matter what, there would be no returning by this path. I had to put my faith in what lay ahead that I would be delivered safely home.
The river made a turn, and my coracle grounded on a sandy shore. I felt like there were a large chamber in front of me, filled with stone shapes, all hidden to my eyes. Then I noticed that the silver ring was gleaming faintly, as if the moon shone on it, but there was no moon. As I held it up to my eye, I perceived that there was bright moonlight forged into the silver by the craft of the smith, and that it allowed me to see the world around me as teh moon would see it, bathed in faint silvery beams.
I was surrounded by tall stone forms that looked like great fir trees hewn of stone, like a Christmas forest frozen in gray stone, all silent and cold. I wandered through them, wondering, for surely nothing down here had ever seen the sun on the forests I knew. I came in time to a rough stone bench set among the stone trees, and I sat for a while.
After I had collected my thoughts, I called out quietly, Who is in this place? I wish to know you and mean you no harm. And there started to appear from round the trees and stones small gray people, who crept up silently to me, gazing at me with their huge flat eyes, moving their long nimble fingers. They seemed shy, and found the pale gleam of moonlight from my ring overbright.
I sat on the ground so as no to overtop them, and asked them who they were, They said that they had always been here, had been here since the beginning, living among the stones. They seemed a cheerful people, quiet but clever, and showed me some of the marvelous things that they had made for their joy: small, fragile sculptures of silver and gold, music or song that sounded like chiming crystals and melodious drops in still pools.
I asked how to you live? Where is your food? And they showed me that they receive their life directly from the Earth itself, as a free gift. They showed me how to sit quietly on the stone, and allow the grace of the Earth to rise within me, filling me and satisfying all my needs. They said that anyone can receive this, as long as they are calm and centered and keep a balance in their hearts.
I said to them, You seem kind and friendly, but are there not things down here to fear? What of the terrors and monsters of which I have heard? And in response, they showed me images of the creatures that prowl these tunnels fo night, and which destroy all they encounter.
These creatures were misshapen, some glowing like hot fire, others dark as shadows and as cold. They seemed to rave and mutter to themselves. The gray folk told me that there things were once people as themselves, who lost their center and their balance. Having lost this and the sustenance that the Earth gives with it, they have turned to stealing the life and vitality of other folk. They try to find other people and strike them, to try and get them to respond with fear or anger so that they can snatch it away as their food. The more they do this, the more twisted they become, until they love nothing more than anger and spite and causing hurt.
When such things come around, the gray folk have learned to disappear by drawing themselves into the stone. They showed me how to do this. Then they told me that, once in the stone, I could follow it up to the sun-world and find my way home.
I thanked them very much for all that they had shown me. I put the ring in my mouth to keep it safe, and slid into the embrace of the Earth. I moved upwards, and felt the warmth of the sun striking a ridge of stone in my clearing. I emerged there, and after thanking the Earth for all its aid, I came home
When I awoke, I could still feel the ring inside my mouth. I know it will be with me, ready to shed light in the darkness.
When I awoke, I could still feel the ring inside my mouth. I know it will be with me, ready to shed light in the darkness.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thresholds
Well, we have once again successfully crossed the treacherous threshold, and passed from the hands of the Oak King safely into the hands of the Holly King. The night after Halloween I had many dreams of gateways, doors, and thresholds, and woke with a feeling of relief that the state of suspension and tension that seemed to characterize September and October had passed and life was once more on track and following the stately turn of the wheel. The Holly King's embrace can be chilly, but it is dependable and secure, and he guards the world for us. It is just at the time of turning, when warmth and light are fading, but winter has not settled in, that seems fragile. The walls between the worlds seem thin. Chaotic forces strive to enter our lives; the dark gate for a time opens both ways; all things seem to be wearing masks -- nothing is quite what it seems, for good or ill. We dance and celebrate our dark natures, and hide behind our own masks, hoping to pass through the passage safely and find our feet again. By the grace of the Moon, and the goodwill of Oak, Holly, and all strong things, we have done so again, and we are safe.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Linchpins of My Year
Many pagans honor the old holidays (Beltane, Imbolc, Lammas, Samhain) and the solstices and equinoxes to celebrate the turning of the year. Most of these don't really resonate for me. So I thought I would set down the times of the year that stand out personally for me, when I really become aware of the turn of the wheel and the cycles of life. These are the seasons that structure my personal year.
Winter solstice. I am a creature of the sun, I can really feel it when the days shorten and darkeness gains ascendency over the day. I can feel the ancient fear as the days shorten, the plants and animals sleep, and one cannot but help wonder what would happen if the sun kept retreating and never came back. On the day that the darkness turns, and day begins once again to advance against night, I feel a powerful and holy sense of the fragility of life and the grace of redemption by which we all live.
Spring wildflower blooms. As the year brightens, I look forward to the appearance of the tiny bright wildflowers in the dry sere fields. When they all suddenly start to appear, flaring up and spreading like flames of blue, scarlet, gold, white, purple, my heart is always lifted. Most people walk by or over these tiny gems of color without even noticing them; or thnk only of spraying weedkiller. But they always are a source of joy and wonder to me, every spring. They are so exuberant and full of vigorous life, their colors so subtle and rich, their shapes so graceful and complex, that I can lay in the grass and stare at them for hours. If, in dry, dead, abandoned lots and fields such wild beauty can burst forth, what can we not acomplish if we will only strive for it?
Fall leaf turning. I love the fall. The weather is cooling and becoming wonderful to be outside again. The trees that I love and talk to are turning from rich green to a thousand shades of red, gold, and brown, as their leaves die and seem to celebrate their own death. The colors are miraculous and vivid, I have wished since childhood to have some way to hold onto those lucious colors but they fade so quickly and are gone. I finally realized that this swift fading is part of their beauty. It is a gift, to be lived and enjoyed, and then let go. This is a season of melancholy, but also of exaultation; as once again nature dies around me, blazing in fleeting beauty, I can feel the heart of nature drawing inward and preparing for its own joyous rebirth.
Winter solstice. I am a creature of the sun, I can really feel it when the days shorten and darkeness gains ascendency over the day. I can feel the ancient fear as the days shorten, the plants and animals sleep, and one cannot but help wonder what would happen if the sun kept retreating and never came back. On the day that the darkness turns, and day begins once again to advance against night, I feel a powerful and holy sense of the fragility of life and the grace of redemption by which we all live.
Spring wildflower blooms. As the year brightens, I look forward to the appearance of the tiny bright wildflowers in the dry sere fields. When they all suddenly start to appear, flaring up and spreading like flames of blue, scarlet, gold, white, purple, my heart is always lifted. Most people walk by or over these tiny gems of color without even noticing them; or thnk only of spraying weedkiller. But they always are a source of joy and wonder to me, every spring. They are so exuberant and full of vigorous life, their colors so subtle and rich, their shapes so graceful and complex, that I can lay in the grass and stare at them for hours. If, in dry, dead, abandoned lots and fields such wild beauty can burst forth, what can we not acomplish if we will only strive for it?
Fall leaf turning. I love the fall. The weather is cooling and becoming wonderful to be outside again. The trees that I love and talk to are turning from rich green to a thousand shades of red, gold, and brown, as their leaves die and seem to celebrate their own death. The colors are miraculous and vivid, I have wished since childhood to have some way to hold onto those lucious colors but they fade so quickly and are gone. I finally realized that this swift fading is part of their beauty. It is a gift, to be lived and enjoyed, and then let go. This is a season of melancholy, but also of exaultation; as once again nature dies around me, blazing in fleeting beauty, I can feel the heart of nature drawing inward and preparing for its own joyous rebirth.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Seven selves
Well, I let work and money problems get the better of me and I dropped many things that I shouldn't have -- my relationship, my spirituality, other important parts of my life. I am working now to bring things back in to balance, to bring to the fore again the important things.
As part of this, I just finished a guided meditation "Into the Labyrinth" from the book Pagan Spirituality by Joyce and River Higginbotham. In this, I walk a seven-turn labyrinth and meet myself at seven different levels of growth, based on colors of Spiral Dynamics.
At the first turn, I meet a very young boy in Beige. He is vital and alive and enjoys the feel of earth beneath his feet and blood in his veins. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are strength, health, vitality. The pleasure of being safe, full, warm, comfortable.
He gives me a handful of soil: rich black loam. This is my strength, my center, my ground and my home. It allows me to be centered and grounded anywhere I find myself.
At the next turn, I meet a young boy wearing Purple. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are belonging, control, being part of a family that cares and supports me. Feeling special and loved.
He gives me an apple. This is a lopsided, half-green apple, from the wild apple tree where my friends and I had our tree house. This is the gift that friends give to friends: acceptance, friendship, companionship, the knowlege that I am never alone or abandoned.
At the next turn, I meet the junior-high me, early teens, dressed in Red. He is full of a sense of rightiousness, and thinks he knows best :) The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are the discovery of reading: stories that I can dive into, can drown in; stories that draw your heart from your body. and return it enriched and enobled.
He gives me a hammer. This is the ability to build, create, and to repair. With it I can restore weak or broken ties, strengthen structures, connect things together. I can heal and fix things.
At the fourth turn, I meet the high-school me, dressed in Blue. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are strength of purpose, confidence to fight for the right, dedication to doing the right thing.
He gives me a ring with a large blue stone. It is a shield, to protect me from the anger and demands of others. This gives me the security to stand up for what is right without fear.
At the next turn, I meet a young man, who looks like my brother who died. He is smiling a lopsided smile and has a thin beard. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are creativity, independence, the ability to accept many different kinds of people with many different backgrounds and lifestyles. An adventurous spirit to look beyond what I know.
He gives me a kitten, a small, fluffy, grey kitten with a white breast, who sits on my backpack and looks over my shoulder. Cats are independent, inscrutable, unaccountable, but we can live together and value each other, even when we don't understand each other. A relationship can be deep and caring, and benefit us both, even though our purposes and worldviews can be widely different.
Around the last turn, I meet an adult man in Green, smiling, but with bleeding wounds on his breast. He feels love and kindness towards all people, but suffers with guilt about the injustices and cruelties of the past and feels helpless to heal the wounds of the world. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are empathy, the ability to really put myself in another's place, to see the world and myself as they see it. This leads to understanding and love.
He gives me a tiny seed. This is the seed of hope. He feels that it cannot grow in his turn of the labyrinth, but he knows it will grow where I am heading.
I step out of the labyrinth, and end my meditiation. At another time, I will revisit this labyrinth and add another turn; I would like to see myself in the Yellow level. I might look forward into the Turquoise turn, to see if there is any advice there for me: I feel I am in Yellow now but starting the transition to Turquoise.
The book also has urged me to revisit and look for not just the strengths of each level, but the challenges they have placed for me: in addition to abilities and insights, each level has also left me with habits, distortions, and misperceptions that weaken or impeed my future growth. I need to know these to be able to move past them.
As part of this, I just finished a guided meditation "Into the Labyrinth" from the book Pagan Spirituality by Joyce and River Higginbotham. In this, I walk a seven-turn labyrinth and meet myself at seven different levels of growth, based on colors of Spiral Dynamics.
At the first turn, I meet a very young boy in Beige. He is vital and alive and enjoys the feel of earth beneath his feet and blood in his veins. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are strength, health, vitality. The pleasure of being safe, full, warm, comfortable.
He gives me a handful of soil: rich black loam. This is my strength, my center, my ground and my home. It allows me to be centered and grounded anywhere I find myself.
At the next turn, I meet a young boy wearing Purple. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are belonging, control, being part of a family that cares and supports me. Feeling special and loved.
He gives me an apple. This is a lopsided, half-green apple, from the wild apple tree where my friends and I had our tree house. This is the gift that friends give to friends: acceptance, friendship, companionship, the knowlege that I am never alone or abandoned.
At the next turn, I meet the junior-high me, early teens, dressed in Red. He is full of a sense of rightiousness, and thinks he knows best :) The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are the discovery of reading: stories that I can dive into, can drown in; stories that draw your heart from your body. and return it enriched and enobled.
He gives me a hammer. This is the ability to build, create, and to repair. With it I can restore weak or broken ties, strengthen structures, connect things together. I can heal and fix things.
At the fourth turn, I meet the high-school me, dressed in Blue. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are strength of purpose, confidence to fight for the right, dedication to doing the right thing.
He gives me a ring with a large blue stone. It is a shield, to protect me from the anger and demands of others. This gives me the security to stand up for what is right without fear.
At the next turn, I meet a young man, who looks like my brother who died. He is smiling a lopsided smile and has a thin beard. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are creativity, independence, the ability to accept many different kinds of people with many different backgrounds and lifestyles. An adventurous spirit to look beyond what I know.
He gives me a kitten, a small, fluffy, grey kitten with a white breast, who sits on my backpack and looks over my shoulder. Cats are independent, inscrutable, unaccountable, but we can live together and value each other, even when we don't understand each other. A relationship can be deep and caring, and benefit us both, even though our purposes and worldviews can be widely different.
Around the last turn, I meet an adult man in Green, smiling, but with bleeding wounds on his breast. He feels love and kindness towards all people, but suffers with guilt about the injustices and cruelties of the past and feels helpless to heal the wounds of the world. The special strengths that I gained during this time of my life are empathy, the ability to really put myself in another's place, to see the world and myself as they see it. This leads to understanding and love.
He gives me a tiny seed. This is the seed of hope. He feels that it cannot grow in his turn of the labyrinth, but he knows it will grow where I am heading.
I step out of the labyrinth, and end my meditiation. At another time, I will revisit this labyrinth and add another turn; I would like to see myself in the Yellow level. I might look forward into the Turquoise turn, to see if there is any advice there for me: I feel I am in Yellow now but starting the transition to Turquoise.
The book also has urged me to revisit and look for not just the strengths of each level, but the challenges they have placed for me: in addition to abilities and insights, each level has also left me with habits, distortions, and misperceptions that weaken or impeed my future growth. I need to know these to be able to move past them.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Sacred Play
Oh boy, life gets away from you when you are not looking... So here I am to finish the description of my last spirit journey, two months later! The details have faded, but I will describe the key points.
Once in my clearing, I greeted my guides and asked about the Greenman. He manifested (kind of) to me and we spoke for a few minutes. He didn't appear physically, but I felt that he was speaking to me, like distant thunder from the horizon. He could hear me and responded.
He said that he is not a deity, and is not really a being; he is a mask that people have created for adressing the transcendent, the principals of growth, fructification, death, and life. This does not make him less real, but perhaps less personal.
I asked if there was a reason why he had been on my mind recently, and he replied that it was an indication that there is something I need there, that it is right for me at this time to investigate the ideas further. I should pursue the idea of the Greenman, and possibly make myself a Greenman mask or costume for renfairs and wear it. I said, "But this would not be spiritual, it would just be play! Wouldn't he be offended?". His response: There is nothing more sacred than play. For only in play do we give ourselves permission to be whatever is in our heart. This is the most perfect of all spiritual practices.
Knowing this, I will try to make a Greenman mask sometime this year, and wear it, even if I feel silly. Perhaps this very sillyness will free me of my pride and fear of making mistakes, and help me to grow and learn.
Once in my clearing, I greeted my guides and asked about the Greenman. He manifested (kind of) to me and we spoke for a few minutes. He didn't appear physically, but I felt that he was speaking to me, like distant thunder from the horizon. He could hear me and responded.
He said that he is not a deity, and is not really a being; he is a mask that people have created for adressing the transcendent, the principals of growth, fructification, death, and life. This does not make him less real, but perhaps less personal.
I asked if there was a reason why he had been on my mind recently, and he replied that it was an indication that there is something I need there, that it is right for me at this time to investigate the ideas further. I should pursue the idea of the Greenman, and possibly make myself a Greenman mask or costume for renfairs and wear it. I said, "But this would not be spiritual, it would just be play! Wouldn't he be offended?". His response: There is nothing more sacred than play. For only in play do we give ourselves permission to be whatever is in our heart. This is the most perfect of all spiritual practices.
Knowing this, I will try to make a Greenman mask sometime this year, and wear it, even if I feel silly. Perhaps this very sillyness will free me of my pride and fear of making mistakes, and help me to grow and learn.
Friday, March 20, 2009
a quote...
There is nothing you can see that is not a flower;
There is nothing you can think that is not the moon.
- Matsuo Bashō
There is nothing you can think that is not the moon.
- Matsuo Bashō
Monday, March 16, 2009
Children of the earth
I finally found time (after flu, sick kids, hurt dog, taxes, people, and other aggravations) to take a spirit journey.
The beach was cool and windy. The water was dark, and the wind was making small breakers on the beach. I could tell the water was full of life. I turned up the shore, and walked into the woods. I concentrated on opening my heart chakra, and the woods stayed fairly light; I could see the crisp winter sun through the leaves. I could see signs of spring all around, buds and tiny furled leaves, but it was still largely bare and wintry.
I walked up the winding path. Looking down, there was a large cluster of mushrooms at the base of the trees. They were ordinary wild mushrooms, brown and translucent with long stems and small heads. There were also some smaller ones with red caps. I stopped and spoke to them. I have always liked the look of mushrooms, but I don't like the taste and I thought the red ones were probably poisonous. The mushrooms were a little offended by this, they don't want to be eaten or judged by their taste! They spoke to me about themselves.
They are just the fruiting bodies of a network of vessels that wind through the earth and the rotting wood. The mushrooms themselves are transitory, they grow and wither while the real life continues. Mushrooms appear in rings sometimes, because the true being is in the earth, growing outwards in a circle and producing mushrooms at its edges. I got a strange sense from them, of being a transitory self that is a temporary expression of an eternal being, whose life is far greater than mine, but which depends on me for its exfoliation and expansion. The mushrooms are loved by the deeper being, and needed by it, but it is greater than they.
Tomorrow, I will write more about my encounter with the Greenman.
I walked up the winding path. Looking down, there was a large cluster of mushrooms at the base of the trees. They were ordinary wild mushrooms, brown and translucent with long stems and small heads. There were also some smaller ones with red caps. I stopped and spoke to them. I have always liked the look of mushrooms, but I don't like the taste and I thought the red ones were probably poisonous. The mushrooms were a little offended by this, they don't want to be eaten or judged by their taste! They spoke to me about themselves.
They are just the fruiting bodies of a network of vessels that wind through the earth and the rotting wood. The mushrooms themselves are transitory, they grow and wither while the real life continues. Mushrooms appear in rings sometimes, because the true being is in the earth, growing outwards in a circle and producing mushrooms at its edges. I got a strange sense from them, of being a transitory self that is a temporary expression of an eternal being, whose life is far greater than mine, but which depends on me for its exfoliation and expansion. The mushrooms are loved by the deeper being, and needed by it, but it is greater than they.
Tomorrow, I will write more about my encounter with the Greenman.
Me and the Greenman
The Greenman has been a lot in my thoughts recently. It has been niggling at me, to learn more, be involved somehow, in a vague way. I went back and read the pages at the Blessed Order of the Greenman. This group is based in Maryland; I wish they were active in my area, I would love to join. I really like their concept of the Greenman representing an alternative to the traditional masculine role model that remains strongly masculine while rejecting the standard images of the fighter, the hunter, the dominator, the killer, the cold authority; instead focusing on the strong masculine image of the protector, the fructifier, the nurturing father, the loving husband, the vibrant strength that begats and supports new life.
I am drawn to this image of the green leafy master of the forest and the cycles of growth and decay. Perhaps because of my affinity to my patron Oak. I think this why the Green Master takes a form that is leafy and crowned with leaves.
I have called on the Greenman at times, to help heal or strengthen an animal I am working with. He has usually responded with a lot of energy. But my relationship with him is different than with my patrons; he clearly chooses himself who he will work with. He doesn't need me to intercede.
With Oak, Spider, and Swallow, I feel a very personal relationship; they like me, and have chosen to help and teach me. Oak is not a deity, nor is it a physical tree; Oak is the spirit behind all oaks, the Being behind their being. It is an amplification of what it is to an oak tree, with a will and history of its own. Likewise with Spider and Barn Swallow. The Green Master is a different being, an individual personality that lives in a different realm than I, who chooses to guide and teach me. There are multitudes of such beings, this one has chosen me. His true form and nature are beyond my perceptions, he wears a form in my dreams just for my convenience.
The Greenman is something else again. Like a deity, he remains always at a distance and confers his benison at his will. He is not bound to time as I and my patrons are, he is outside of history. I think that he is really just a mask, an story, an image that I have found that gives a face to the power and mystery of life and being. It is not a deity, because the image is shallow. It does not ask for worship or sacrifice. The mystery is not limited to that image, but the Greenman is a mask that I can understand and use to relate to that which is beyond me. It speaks to my soul, so it is an opening through which I can reach out to life and through which life can reach to me. The Greenman demands nothing from me except honesty, compassion, and a willingness to fulfill my own commitments.
I am drawn to this image of the green leafy master of the forest and the cycles of growth and decay. Perhaps because of my affinity to my patron Oak. I think this why the Green Master takes a form that is leafy and crowned with leaves.
I have called on the Greenman at times, to help heal or strengthen an animal I am working with. He has usually responded with a lot of energy. But my relationship with him is different than with my patrons; he clearly chooses himself who he will work with. He doesn't need me to intercede.
With Oak, Spider, and Swallow, I feel a very personal relationship; they like me, and have chosen to help and teach me. Oak is not a deity, nor is it a physical tree; Oak is the spirit behind all oaks, the Being behind their being. It is an amplification of what it is to an oak tree, with a will and history of its own. Likewise with Spider and Barn Swallow. The Green Master is a different being, an individual personality that lives in a different realm than I, who chooses to guide and teach me. There are multitudes of such beings, this one has chosen me. His true form and nature are beyond my perceptions, he wears a form in my dreams just for my convenience.
The Greenman is something else again. Like a deity, he remains always at a distance and confers his benison at his will. He is not bound to time as I and my patrons are, he is outside of history. I think that he is really just a mask, an story, an image that I have found that gives a face to the power and mystery of life and being. It is not a deity, because the image is shallow. It does not ask for worship or sacrifice. The mystery is not limited to that image, but the Greenman is a mask that I can understand and use to relate to that which is beyond me. It speaks to my soul, so it is an opening through which I can reach out to life and through which life can reach to me. The Greenman demands nothing from me except honesty, compassion, and a willingness to fulfill my own commitments.
A favorite quote...
I have stretched ropes from steeple to steeple;
garlands from window to window;
golden chains from star to star,
and I dance.
-- Arthur Rimbaud
garlands from window to window;
golden chains from star to star,
and I dance.
-- Arthur Rimbaud
Sunday, February 8, 2009
intimations
I think Oak wants to talk, he has been popping up in my mind a lot this past week. I must make time in the next few days for a spirit journey!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A scorched hand teaches best
I got a bad cut on my brow last weekend, which required some stiches. That evening, after doing some Reiki on it, I tried 'pulling' some of the pain out. I have done this many times for Athena in the past, and she has told me that it can be painful to do but that it does help. This is the first time, however, that I have ever had occasion to do it to myself. OUCH! It hurt a LOT! Athena wasn't exaggerating! :D I was not able to do any more, because it hurt to much.
Since then I have been more careful when I pull pain for Athena or for T-Man. I take some time first to loosen the pain up, and only draw off what will come easily, rather than trying to grab and pull out whatever I can. Athena says this is feels much better, and T-Man was much happier with it too.
Oh, well, one lives and learns. I am glad that I can do it in a way that is more comfortable to others, now.
Since then I have been more careful when I pull pain for Athena or for T-Man. I take some time first to loosen the pain up, and only draw off what will come easily, rather than trying to grab and pull out whatever I can. Athena says this is feels much better, and T-Man was much happier with it too.
Oh, well, one lives and learns. I am glad that I can do it in a way that is more comfortable to others, now.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Circle of healing for T-Man
Athena's horse T-Man is on stall rest now, after getting a cracked pelvis and a big hematoma. We converted the run-in shed in his pasture into a stall, so he can see his girls and not get too lonely, since he may be there for several months.
I have been doing Reiki on him every day, to try and help him heal well and faster. I also put protections on his stall. I had done something similar with my wife's mare Dear One, when she was doing poorly, with assistance from Spider and Oak. This was a somewhat different situation, since I was less concerned with keeping out bad influences than in concentrating beneficial ones. Athena had also gotten me a new rattle, which I used for the first time. It is a beautiful Raku rattle, with lovely iridescent copper-matte glaze, about the size of my palm. It is decorated with some tiny colored raku beads strung on rawhide. It has a rich, soft, earthy sound.
I started at the corner post at the gate entrance, and opened up to the energy, and called for help and assistance from Spider, Oak, Swallow, the Green Man, and any other benevolent forces that could aid me. The response was positive but sluggish, so I tried using the rattle to aid in the calling, shaking it my hand in three groups of three while calling. I got a much stronger response, including energy from the Green Man and from the Indian spirit teacher who has danced with me recently. Together, we sank an energy well at the corner post, and drew up a column of strong, warm energy into the post. I started around the stall clockwise (sunward), shaking the rattle gently and drawing a thick rope of vibrant energy around to the next post; where we again sank another well, anchoring the rope and starting a new one. I continued around the stall until I returned to my starting point and anchored it again at the post. This left the stall guarded by four columns of rich earth-sky energy at the four corners, surrounded by a thick warm circle of energy that draw in blessings and healing power. I thanked all who helped me, and left knowing that T-Man was well protected.
I have been doing Reiki on him every day, to try and help him heal well and faster. I also put protections on his stall. I had done something similar with my wife's mare Dear One, when she was doing poorly, with assistance from Spider and Oak. This was a somewhat different situation, since I was less concerned with keeping out bad influences than in concentrating beneficial ones. Athena had also gotten me a new rattle, which I used for the first time. It is a beautiful Raku rattle, with lovely iridescent copper-matte glaze, about the size of my palm. It is decorated with some tiny colored raku beads strung on rawhide. It has a rich, soft, earthy sound.
I started at the corner post at the gate entrance, and opened up to the energy, and called for help and assistance from Spider, Oak, Swallow, the Green Man, and any other benevolent forces that could aid me. The response was positive but sluggish, so I tried using the rattle to aid in the calling, shaking it my hand in three groups of three while calling. I got a much stronger response, including energy from the Green Man and from the Indian spirit teacher who has danced with me recently. Together, we sank an energy well at the corner post, and drew up a column of strong, warm energy into the post. I started around the stall clockwise (sunward), shaking the rattle gently and drawing a thick rope of vibrant energy around to the next post; where we again sank another well, anchoring the rope and starting a new one. I continued around the stall until I returned to my starting point and anchored it again at the post. This left the stall guarded by four columns of rich earth-sky energy at the four corners, surrounded by a thick warm circle of energy that draw in blessings and healing power. I thanked all who helped me, and left knowing that T-Man was well protected.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Dream resolutions
New Years resolutions seem so trite in the real world. Instead, here are my New Years resolutions for my dreams:
After building the perfect city (golden stucco, red tile roofs, balconies and merchants wagons hung with multicolored lanterns and bougainvilleas…) go on a long trip and let the people redecorate.
When escaping the nameless horror to the protection of the sacred circle, invite everyone you see, not just the nice kids with the puppy. Bad guys won't be able to cross the running water anyway, and the obnoxious guy at the minimart has secret strengths too.
Read the signs. They will be important later.
Greet every being you meet with respect. A kind word to the worm may gain you the protection of the mountain.
When being chased through a high-rise office building, don't bother looking for the stairs. Find a window and fly away.
Don't boast of your powers, they are gifts that can be revoked.
Always tell Hercule Poirot everything. Same with Dr Who.
After building the perfect city (golden stucco, red tile roofs, balconies and merchants wagons hung with multicolored lanterns and bougainvilleas…) go on a long trip and let the people redecorate.
When escaping the nameless horror to the protection of the sacred circle, invite everyone you see, not just the nice kids with the puppy. Bad guys won't be able to cross the running water anyway, and the obnoxious guy at the minimart has secret strengths too.
Read the signs. They will be important later.
Greet every being you meet with respect. A kind word to the worm may gain you the protection of the mountain.
When being chased through a high-rise office building, don't bother looking for the stairs. Find a window and fly away.
Don't boast of your powers, they are gifts that can be revoked.
Always tell Hercule Poirot everything. Same with Dr Who.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Nor is aught that goes on two legs...
Christmas morning, I stopped at the oak tree in my front yard, put my hand on the trunk, and wished it Merry Christmas. It rattled its leaves cheerfully at me and wish me the blessings of the season. :) I remarked on the unusually warm day, and it said yes, but it won't last! The next morning it was freezing cold. Trees are not omnicient, but what they know, they know!
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