The Ancestors Fire Ring

Athena had had a series of dreams about my late dad, and thought that he may have a message for me. So I went on a journey tonight, to talk with my beloved ancestors...

I sat in the back yard on a large stone, and lit some mugwort on a charcoal tablet.  Using my turkey feathers I smoked myself and sang my power song; on the last verse I took flight with the feathers and soared away.

Landing on the shore of the ink-dark sea, in a windy chill night, I walked up the path into the trees.  There were tumbled stones beside the path, looking like the river rocks of Missouri.  As I entered the clearing, I saw the sun and the moon in the sky together, lacing the world with silver and gold beams.  The grass was green, but it was a bit chilly.

I greeted Oak, Swallow, Spider, and Water Drake, and thanked them for their gifts.  I told them I wanted to visit my ancestors, where should I go to do this?  They directed me to a small hillock off to the left, which was crowned with a ring of stones.  The path spiraled up around the hillock to the entrance in the ring.  I walked up and entered the ring of stones.

The ring was not large, maybe 30 ft wide, made of rough stones about shoulder height or smaller.  In the center was a large campfire, with logs and rough benches around it.  There were shadowy presences around it, I could sense that there were many generations of people who frequent this place in many layers of time.

I sat down by the fire and asked if my father would come and talk to me, and if he had a message.  Almost immediately I saw him sitting just to the right of me.  His face was illuminated by the fire light, and he was smiling at me.  He was very clear, just as I knew him for many years.

I told him how much I missed him and how much I loved and appreciated him and what he had taught me throughout me life.  He reached out his hand and we clasped hands, squeezing my hand confidently.  He told me that I would do fine, that I had strength, wisdom, and intelligence to do well and everything would work out for me and my family.  He was confident in me, and took pride in my achievements.  He reiterated that I did not need to worry that things would all work out.

He said he was very proud of my kids.  He would keep an eye on them, but that they really did not need special protection - they are both strong, intelligent, and will be successful.

We hugged, and I felt the strength in him, and it made me feel very happy.  He said that he would be happy to talk anytime I wanted, that he as always there for me.

I then asked if there was anyone else that wanted to talk to me.  I asked if my brother was there, who died years ago.  He was, and appeared nearby.  We spoke only briefly, I told him how much I appreciated his pride and confidence in me when I was growing up, that seeing myself reflected in his eyes is one thing that really helped me become a confident and successful person.

There were others, fading in and out: grandma and grandpa, grandmother, and others I had seen on previous journeys - indian men, an old indian woman, a viking man.  But none appeared for more than a moment.

I took my leave, and walked down the hill.  Thanking my guides, I returned to crystalline darkness of the sea, and flew home on my turkey feathers.

Winter Solstice 2012

Money was tight and December was rushed this year, which paradoxically meant that Solstice was very nice -- just family, quiet, darkness and fire.  We are in our back-woods house with no internet or TV.   I made a big fire in my newly rebuilt firepit.  It is great to be able to have a real, big fire, burning actual logs instead of bits of branches!

The blazing fire of peachwood from our old house and aged oak from our new house was beautiful on the cold night, and drew out Athena and the kids to sit around and talk, and roast marshmallows.  Too much mist and scattered clouds for stargazing, but a gorgeous almost-full moon sporting a huge ring - at least 35 degrees wide, fat and silvery, lasting most of the evening.

Athena sat with me a while, then Aurora came out and talked with me and we shared stories about shamanic journeys.  We played some with the bells and drums, Cercatore and Aurora made smores, and we all sat out for a long time talking and enjoying the fire.

Later, after the others went in, I sat by the fire and beat a steady rhythm with the bells Athena had bought, and drifted into non-ordinary reality.  As I listened to the bells jingle, I started to hear other bells, like harness bells approaching and jingling across the fire.  I could very clearly hear them come close and settle near the fire.  The visitors felt like travelling Sidhe, riding some kind of antlered steeds, attracted by my fire.  I welcomed them to share the fire, and put out some of my snacks and offered them freely to share.  I offered, as my part of the nights tale-telling, for them to watch the spirit journey I was about to undertake.

I  took a journey to find a spirit animal to help me in the coming year.   The seaside was dark and cold, but the sea looked like clear glass and reflected the flames of my fire; as I walked into the woods I could still feel the warmth of the fire.  As I passed the ring of trees and entered the meadow, I could see the sun and moon above bathing everything in light of mingled silver and gold.  Oak and I embraced, and I thanked him for his support and strength.  Spider met me and I thanked her for her gifts and aid in the past year, and I greeted and thanked Barn Swallow.  Then I walked on to the crystalline, tumbling stream and sat beside it, looking across to the edge of the woods beyond, and waited for someone/something to emerge.

After a bit, I could feel something hesitating just beyond sight, unsure if it should appear - apparently because it was not sure I would believe it it.  To try and lure it out, I tried asking it what it was, and tried a number of animals without getting a firm response - some recognition at snake and bird, but still not quite right.  Next I asked about its element; definitely not earth or air, positive response on both water and fire.

It finally crept out from the trees into the stream, and let me see it - it was a water-drake, a small dragon; a creature of fire and water, very snakelike, standing about 3-4 feet on two hind legs.  It said that Water had been a good friend to me and helped me a lot this last year with adaptability and acceptance of change as I moved and started a new job, but that for the challenges in front of me now I will need to add Fire to my gifts.  I thanked it, and admired its beauty; it was sometimes transparent, disappearing into the water, sometimes blue and white, curling its neck.  I could tell it could also breath flame when it needs to!

I look forward to learning more from Water-Drake, and learning to use its gifts.  What a surprising patron!

After returning to my fire, my visitors had moved on.  I doused the fire with many thanks, and left my food as a free gift to any that passed that way, and went inside.

Cross the threshold

I took a spirit journey tonight, the first real one in several months.  The last time I tried, I could not keep in the 'trance', I kept popping out of shamanic consciousness and couldn't visualize clearly.  This time I took more time, and also got some lovely nature sounds to play to put me in the right state.

I took a long time on the seashore this time.  The sky was dark twilight, clear and cool, and the ocean was crystalline and dark, like blown glass with a heart of night.  I made my way up the past the tide line, through the saw grass, and onto the path between the trees.

The path was sandy and bare, and the trees were dark with just a few new leaves appearing.  There was little undergrowth.  I slowly walk up the path, to the opening of the clearing.  As I stepped out into the clearing, the sun was shining and warm on my skin, and the lush grass was soft on my feet.  A half moon was in the sky with the sun.  I walked down a little way to the Oak tree, and gave it big hug; the slender branches stroked my back and welcomed me, not caring how long I had been away. 

I thanked Oak for all his help, then turned to my right and greeted Spider (who appeared 5 foot high and shining black).  I carefully embraced Spider (not wanting to hurt her legs) and kissed her on the head, thanking her for all the support that she has given me.  Barn Swallow came down and perched on my shoulder and greeted me, and I thanked her for her gifts and inspiration.

I asked my patrons what I should do next, and they suggested that I walk down to the stream.  I did so, and marveled at the clear, sparking water.  I took a sip of it, which felt cool and sparkling.  I asked if I should run some cards for my upcoming move, using the Celtic tree oracle cards, and they said that would be fine; Oak said he would bless them for me.

I thanked all by friends and walked out of the clearing.  As I walked down the path, it was much sunnier and there were pale wildflowers popping up around the trees, and many new green leaves appeared.  At the sea, I took another sip and felt the ocean's vast calmness there for me if I needed it, then woke up.

I got out the Celtic tree cards and laid out cards in the Three Worlds spread.  This is what I got:

Underworld: deep resources, wisdom from ancestors --
Beech
    Cross the threshold that is challenging you

Middleworld: truth at the core of the matter --
Gooseberry
    Draw on the wisdom of those who have walked the path before you

Upperworld: starry wisdom, clear insight --
Alder
    Defend your territory, and clear the way before you

I read this to mean that we should go ahead with the move, but be sure to have everything in writing and make sure everything is in order before we do it!

Circle of healing for T-Man

Athena's horse T-Man is on stall rest now, after getting a cracked pelvis and a big hematoma.  We converted the run-in shed in his pasture into a stall, so he can see his girls and not get too lonely, since he may be there for several months. 

I have been doing Reiki on him every day, to try and help him heal well and faster.  I also put protections on his stall.  I had done something similar with my wife's mare Dear One, when she was doing poorly, with assistance from Spider and Oak.  This was a somewhat different situation, since I was less concerned with keeping out bad influences than in concentrating beneficial ones.  Athena had also gotten me a new rattle, which I used for the first time.  It is a beautiful Raku rattle, with lovely iridescent copper-matte glaze, about the size of my palm.  It is decorated with some tiny colored raku beads strung on rawhide.  It has a rich, soft, earthy sound.

I started at the corner post at the gate entrance, and opened up to the energy, and called for help and assistance from Spider, Oak, Swallow, the Green Man, and any other benevolent forces that could aid me.  The response was positive but sluggish, so I tried using the rattle to aid in the calling, shaking it my hand in three groups of three while calling.  I got a much stronger response, including energy from the Green Man and from the Indian spirit teacher who has danced with me recently.  Together, we sank an energy well at the corner post, and drew up a column of strong, warm energy into the post.  I started around the stall clockwise (sunward), shaking the rattle gently and drawing a thick rope of vibrant energy around to the next post; where we again sank another well, anchoring the rope and starting a new one.  I continued around the stall until I returned to my starting point and anchored it again at the post.  This left the stall guarded by four columns of rich earth-sky energy at the four corners, surrounded by a thick warm circle of energy that draw in blessings and healing power.  I thanked all who helped me, and left knowing that T-Man was well protected.

Wheeling Within

A poem, written at the quiet suggestion of Barn Swallow, to send out into the world...

I walk to the river,
The river of peace,
The river of dreams,
Jordan, Niger, Tigris, Anduin,
The runs from the mountains to the sea,
That carries our hopes, our prayers, our dead, our souls,
That waters the roots of the world.

I sit by the tree,
The tree of strength,
The tree of protection,
The tree of inspiration,
Yggrasil, Oak, Ash,
Tent pole of the heavens,
Giver of gifts,
Rooted in the earth,
Home to the birds that carry our dreams to heaven.
The tree is the river.

I gaze at the mountain,
The mountain of majesty,
The mountain of power,
Olympus, Fuji, Golgotha,
Home of the gods,
Forge of the earth,
Axis Mundi,
Bed of the sleeping giant,
Doorway to the ancients.
The mountain is the tree.
    The tree is the river.

I dance in the circle,
The circle of drums,
The circle of life,
The circle of hands,
Where dance the ancestors and the animal powers,
And are sung the mysteries,
In strophy and antistrophy.
The circle is the mountain.
    The mountain is the tree.
        The tree is the river.

I kneel at the altar,
The altar of reverence,
The altar of sacrifice,
The chamber of relics,
Where flows the grace, the grain, the blood,
The sacrifice of Demeter's daughter,
The rebirth of heaven's son.
The altar is the circle.
    The circle is the mountain.
        The mountain is the tree.
            The tree is the river.

I furrow the earth,
The earth of our crops,
The soil of our future,
The cradle of our death,
Gaia, Earth, Geb, Demeter,
Foundation of the world,
Mother of all that lives,
Source of the harvest,
The dust from which we came and will return.
The earth is the altar.
    The altar is the circle.
        The circle is the mountain.
            The mountain is the tree.
                The tree is the river.

I look to the sky,
The sky of stars,
The sky of mysteries,
The vault of the heavens,
The firmament, the crystaline sphere,
Where is scattered the stars and the wandering planets,
That taught us of time,
Hours, years, and centuries,
And the movements of the worlds through the river of stars.
The sky is the earth.
    The earth is the alar.
        The altar is the circle.
            The circle is the mountain.
                The mountain is the tree.
                    The tree is the river.
                        The river is the sky.
                            The sky is the earth...

A second visit with Spider and Swallow

I went on a short spirit journey again tonight.  It has been a tumultuous week, and I am very tired; but I am going to set down what happened now while it is fresh in my mind.

I used the same technique as before.  The sky this time was cloudy, with ast moving patches of dark clouds.  The light is grayer and dimmer, almost like twilight.  Sometimes I can see the sun, lower in the sky.  Sometimes I see the bright full moon – the silvery light/shadow seems to touch everything.
  

In the clearing is the tree.  It seems larger this time, with a fuller crown.  I embrace it, and thank it for helping me.  I put both hands on the trunk and let the Reiki energy flow in and out.  I feel its goodwill, and know that it is always there with support and strength for me.

I look around.  The Green Master is not in evidence.  After a moment I become aware that the spider is here though.  I see her on a low branch of the tree that extends over the stream.  She appears very clearly, a small black spider walking on the branch.  I ask if she was the spider that walked over my horse’s bandages this morning; she says yes.  She makes no promises of the future, but tells me that she is doing well now, that she is strong, and that what we are doing now is the right course for her at this time.

A moment later I see her walking out over the stream on the branch.  She is carrying a large shining white egg sack.  I am a little concerned, I find egg sacks kind of creepy and worry that a million baby spiders are going to core crawling out (ick!).  The spider tells me not to be silly and calm down.  After a few moments I get control of myself and stop trying to guess/force what is going to happen, and just try to sit back, watch, and learn.  She flicks it into the air over the water, and it releases thousands of tiny white balloonist spiders, floating on tiny gossamer threads into the air.  The breeze takes them out over the grass to the forest, and over the forest.  Many land in the grass or in the trees, several land in my tree.  Once they land, I cannot see them but I know they are there.

These are not her bodily children, this is a lesson she it teaching me.  My first understanding of it is this: the world around me is filled with life.  No matter where I am, there are tiny living things near which share this life with me, and can help me if I ask with an open heart.  I am never alone, never separated from the web of life around me.  I feel there is more for me to learn, but for now I put the image in my heart for later.

Now I look up and the bird is flying down from the tree. He is circling around the trunk and coming down towards me, crying “News!  News!  I have news!”  As he comes close, I ask what news.  He says that he carries news and stories all over the world, from place to place.  Anything he hears he carries to his friends and it spreads outward.  This is what he wants me to know: Any kind word, or generous act, spreads out through the world like ripples on a pond, touching everyone.  This is what ties the world together: kind thoughts and deeds given freely without thought of return.

At this I see the second meaning of the spider’s act.  The tiny children of our spirits, our wishes, hopes, and dreams, must be set free into the world to land where they will.  They must not be held too close, or protected too much, but must be free to travel the wind and make their homes where they will.  If they go freely into the world with our love, then they will freely return that love to us in ever new and surprising ways.

I thank them all very much, what wonderful gifts they have given me today.  I walk back down the path, and awake.

My first spirit journey

I decide to try a spirit journey, to hopefully meet my spirit guide(s) and/or guardian animal(s).  I am going to use a directed meditation based on one of my Reiki teacher's exercises and some online articles. I am going to float in my bath -- this is my favorite relaxation spot, very private and peaceful. I can float safely there without risk of going under, the tub is not big enough for me to go under without an effort :)  

I turn on some music, light a candle, turn out the lights, and get comfortable. I concentrate on breathing. The warm water and floating feeling is very helpful. I can feel my heartbeat very strongly, resonating through the water and bouncing back to me. The rhythm is steady and gentle; I accept this as my drum. I listen to the beat and let other thoughts drift away, sinking into it.

I am on a beach, a northern ocean beach with sawgrass and tough-looking weeds growing above the tide line. I follow a path up the bank into a forest. The trees are thin and clean limbed, black barked, tall, with leaves only high above. In spite of their somewhat forbidding aspect, I feel that they are friendly. The light filters down in shafts and flickering patches to the ground below. The undergrowth is open and the path is scattered with sand and many small stones of many sizes and colors. I know that these are the gifts of the earth, and show that he supports me in my journey.

I approach a clearing. It feels large, but I am unsure about how big it is. It is open, with thick green grass and a stream running though it. There is a tree in the the middle, next to the stream. The tree is tall, somewhat scraggledy, with a high crown and only a few leafy branches down low. I am pretty sure it is an oak, but sometimes I feel like it is an apple: I think because it reminds me of an apple tree I loved when I was growing up, where I had a tree house. Most people would not look twice at the tree, it is lopsided and not "pretty". But it is vigorous, exuberant, and obviously loves living. As I come up and stand beside it, a small branch comes down and strokes my hair a few times. I feel very welcome, and I sit down against the tree and look at the stream.

I relax, and send out an invitation to my guides to let me see them. I immediately see a figure to my left, standing. He seems to be wrapped in a concealing cloak of white with green & blue highlights. I cannot see his face, it is as if he is veiled with a thick mist that wraps around him. I feel that the veil is in fact my sceptical nature, that does not want to believe in all this; so I do some breathing exercises and try to relax into acceptance and push away my disbelief. After some effort, it works: I see his face. It it pale, and he seems to be crowned in leaves and to have leaves growing from is cheekbones and temples. The leaves are holly-shaped, white, with edges and highlights of green and blue. He laughes, and I feel that this is just an appearance he has chosen, because he know it will be evocative to me, and he enjoys it. ('He' is neither male nor female, or both; it makes as little sense or difference that it would for a tree) We 'speak' a little; he is pleased that I can see him. He says that nearly all people he and his collegues help never become aware of them, but that it is a great pleasure when they do.  The being does not give a name, but when I suggest that I call him Green Master he finds it amusing and accepts the title.

I then ask the Green Master if I could meet some of my guardian animals.  He indicates that I should look to my right.  Just behind me to my right is an animal that I have a lot of trouble perceiving.  It seems to be some kind of insect or spider, I think it is a spider.  Now, I have for many years had a strong fear of spiders!  I have been trying to work through this in the past year or two.  Learing to communicate with them has helped a lot, it is hard to be afraid of someone you know.  The spider spirit beside me seems quiet, helpful and friendly, but I am nervous and I think this is interfering with my ability to see her clearly: sometimes she seems tiny, sometimes as big as a horse, never the same for a moment.  I feel that it is not her, but my fear that is causing this.  We both agree that I need to work on this :D

I then become aware of something fluttering around above my head.  It is a bird, small, about the size of a barn swallow, in constant motion above my head.  I catch flashes of blue, gray, and some orange; kind of like bluebird colors but it is not a bluebird.  He moves like a barn swallow, always swooping and fluttering.  He will not sit still, he seems very excited and happy.  A very bubbly, happy spirit.

I thank them for being there with me, for showing themselves to me, and for helping me.  I ask if there is anything that they would like from me, they both say that they just want me to try and be aware and listen when they have a message for me.  I promise to try and do this.

Now it seems time to return.  I say goodbye to the spider and the bird, and the Green Master, and thank the tree for its support.  I walk back down the path to the sea, gradually waking up.  When I reach the beach, I put down a hand and scoop up some sea water; I feel this as a splash and rush of energy that moves through me and is gone.  Then I open my eyes and wake up.

I am amazed at all this.  Some questions have been answered, and many new possibilities have opened.  The Green Master is my spirit guide for this time, and watching over and protecting me in my life are the spider, the swallow, and the tree.  I could not ask for better.