A new journey, taken on the liminal cusp; at twilight, when school begins the next morning, with a timeless while balanced between summer and fall, light and dark, freedom and responsibility...
I am recommitting to my spiritual practice, and have taken a journey to meet again the guardians of the four directions, and to also ask to see the adversaries of the four directions. I want to know what I can do to start a daily/weekly practice to keep me in touch with the spirit.
In the East the guardian is a great golden-furred beast, the master of the good beginning, the gateway for the start of the journey. His element is Water, since all things start with water. I can honor him each morning by catching a drop of water on my finger and throwing it to the east.
The adversary of the east resolves itself slowly into the huge figure of a giant or ogre, guarding a closed door. His power is to deny entry, to close the door and forbid egress: that part of myself that fears change and wants to stay within its safe world and never reach out. I consider if I am supposed to battle him, or trick him, of beguile him... none of these things would work. Instead I thank him for his service, and acknowledge that sometimes it is right to close the door: in defense, or to prevent unwise wandering, but I tell him that I am too quick to close the door and that I need to learn to open it more, and move out from my comfort into the wide world more. He agrees that I need this. He will man the door for me, but it will always be my responsibility to choose when to open it.
In the South is the great feathered serpent, over the lush green jungle. He is the master of the path, the one who sets the trials, the creator of the labyrinth that we must navigate to reach our goals. I can honor him each morning by lighting a flame, gazing at it, and thinking of its powers and gifts.
The adversary of the south appears as a huge winged skull that flies in darkness. It is the ashes of lost hopes; the possible futures that once could have been but can now no longer be; the future selves that have been killed by my past choices. It flies at me and tries to bite me. I cannot unmake those choices, and even if I could it would destroy some other future. Every choice and action creates its future only by destroying others. I acknowledge this, and admit that I would not return to these choices, but I still grieve for what cannot be. I spread my arms and accept the pain of its bite, the pain of loss that is unavoidable. The pain remains. It will never not be, nor will it be belittled or smothered with platitudes.
In the West is crested lizard or horny toad, the consort of the moon, sitting on a stone in the desert with the stars behind him. He is the master of the gate of learning, the fruits of the journey; the stars are the myriad possibilities that are the consequence of my choices. I can honor him by gazing at the stars.
The adversary of the west appears to me as Christ suffering on the cross. He is choices held onto past their time, decisions clung to but never reexamined. What is right and good at one point in your life can become a burden and a barrier later if you stop questioning. Doing this can condemn us all to being crucified on the cross of our past choices. I can honor him, and remind myself to keep an open mind and heart, by breaking a thread.
In the North is the vast hall of the king, dressed in sable and crowned with ice. The north star is over his head. He is the lord of bards and storytellers, and the lord of hope and of light in the darkness. In his hall are told the stories of all those who have braved the journey and won through to the end. I can honor him with song. It can be a light or funny song, it is the act of singing out that opens the heart to joy.
The adversary of the north is a huge white dragon. He represents the demands of the world, the duties and responsibilities of daily life. He desires to rip out my heart and eat it, just as work, money, and other demands will destroy my soul, unless I can keep a balance that honors both the spiritual and emotional side of my life and the practical side. I can honor him with herbs that feed both the body and the soul.
